Have you ever been in a relationship with a liar? It can be deceptive, painful, and down right confusing. You lose your bearings. You can feel like your relationship is a boat without an anchor, not rooted to anything, anywhere.
Truth is a steadying force. It is heavy. It anchors us to the earth, to reality, and to one another in a way that is irreplaceable.
Now, let me make the distinction: there are people who lie and then there are liars. All people, at some point or another, lie. White lies abound in our culture. Sometimes we’re not even aware that we’re lying until someone points it out. We often substitute the word “excuses” for “white lies.” But it’s basically the same thing. Half-truths. Exaggerations. You get the point. This is an ugly part of life.
However, a person who is striving for honesty and integrity always brings the truth into the light. They choose to admit they were wrong and apologize for any hurt they have caused. Truth is tough. It’s humbling and it’s often times, embarrassing.
On the the flip-side, there are habitual liars. These people have made a habit out of lying. They have a lifestyle of deceit. These folks almost live in an a false reality that they have even come to believe. Crazy doctors call these people “delusional”. Sadly, I can speak from experience and being a liar can ruin your life and the lives of those around you. So, here are 3 hard truths about liars …
1. Liars Are In Love with Themselves: Think about it, why do people lie? What are some of their motives? They don’t want to look stupid, they don’t want to be wrong, they don’t want to let people down, they want to keep everyone happy, they want to get what they want. All of these motives have the “self” at the center. Liars make every situation all about them. They’re not thinking about the questions, How will this impact people I care about? What will be the consequences of my lies? No, liars are very short sighted, focusing only on the immediate and easy way out of a situation. In the long run, it is impossible to have a long-term, healthy relationship built on mutual trust and honesty because liars are narcissists. They’re essentially only in a relationship with themselves.
2. Liars Are Cowards: Anyone who lacks the courage to look at the truth is a coward. Cowards are really hard to love. They will perpetually frustrate you. Instead of admitting their shortcomings, their failures – their basic humanness – they will lie in order to cover it up. They’re so busy keeping up with “the Joneses” that they destroy their closest relationships in the process. Liars need courage to overcome their lifestyle of deceit.
3. Liars Have No Legs to Stand On: At the end of the day, at the end of one’s life, what do you have besides your good name or your reputation? Liars have essentially chopped their own legs out from under them through continual denial and lying. They have destroyed their own reputations and in doing so, their name in the community. Since they have no legs, they can’t take a stand on anything that matters. Their lives have become meaningless wastelands, easily forgotten and dismissed. No one with any discernment trusts them and they end up isolated in their lifestyle of lies.
When have you encountered a habitual liar and how was it destructive to your relationship? Tell me about it in the comments below.