As we look for love, breakups are inevitable. Though we aren’t meant to be with everyone we date, it doesn’t make it any easier to say good-bye. Sometimes it’s impossible to overcome differences; compatibility isn’t there, or trust has been broken. Some relationships are worth fighting for while others will never become healthy enough to sustain.
When the choice is made to go separate ways, a process of grief takes place that ultimately ends in moving on.
Here are 7 ways to get over a break-up:
1. Separate yourself.
The couples who think they can stay friends and still move on are typically setting themselves up for a rude awakening. When you stay chained to someone, you can’t walk away to better things.
2. Don’t try to forget; try to forgive.
Not all break-ups are from incompatibility. Sometimes you are left hurt and broken. If you spend the time after your break-up trying to forget, you will be disappointed. Memories stick with us–even the ones we want to ignore. So instead of living in denial, we must work toward forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t tell him it was okay, forgiveness is meant to free yourself from any harboring resentment.
3. Practice self-care.
After tending to a relationship for so long, you get lost. Your identity is so wrapped up in what you were when you were together that who you are as an individual takes a back seat. After a break-up, it’s important to invest in yourself. Discover who you are, what you enjoy, and where you want to grow. Practicing self-care will help you get your identity back. Treat yourself well. You deserve it!
4. Don’t take it personally.
It’s NOT your fault. I have watched friends torture themselves thinking if they looked different, were more laid back and spontaneous, didn’t work so much, etc. that their relationship would have lasted. This simply isn’t true. Your worth is not defined by a successful relationship.
5. Write it out.
You can’t take back your words. Not all are meant to be said, so write out your emotions–all your fears, insecurities, and angry rants. This isn’t meant to be read by anyone; it’s a way of healing for you and you only.
6. Don’t go back.
Going back is not the answer to heartbreak. You WILL find the right one and don’t need to settle in the meantime. There was a reason it didn’t work out and the things you hoped would change while you were in the relationship will not be changed by going back.
7. Find the lesson.
Although difficult, there is a reason for every experience you had with your previous relationship, and you can grow from those lessons.
Tell us in the comments how YOU have successfully moved on after a break-up.
